How To Create Daily Confidence That Actually Lasts
Everyone deserves to be confident in their own skin, but how do you create daily confidence that actually lasts?
In our busy lives, it can be hard to stay confident in ourselves, especially when we’re constantly being bombarded with messages from the media that we should be more, do more, have more – essentially just be better.
But you have the power to control how you think, act and feel about yourself every day.
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How to Create Daily Confidence That Actually Lasts
in this video, I’ll be revealing the 90/90 Mindset Concept that’ll transform the way you feel about yourself, alongside practical strategies for building self confidence so you can be confident every single day.
Watch the video below or scroll down to read the transcript instead.
What is The 90/90 Mindset Concept
The 90/90 Mindset Concept is a concept I created to help you feel confident every single day. It embodies everything I’ve learned on my own journey to confidence over the last 12 years.
The principles of this concept are what’s helped me feel confident in my day-to-day life It's helped me to make decisions more easily. It's helped me to speak to strangers. It's helped me to get on public transport when I was terrified.
It's helped me to show up on Instagram stories, share personal content, sell my offers, be visible, and it's also helped me to do the bigger, scarier things like, increase my prices, ask for a promotion when I was in a 9 to 5, ask for more money at job interviews. It's helped me to quit my job, to backpack around the world.
It's helped me to do the big things in life as well as the little everyday things and my hope for you is that by introducing you to this concept, you can start to embody this way of living too, so you can feel confident every day and get what you deserve in life.
There are 3 Core principles of The 90/90 Mindset Concept
These are:
We believe in becoming 90% confident, 90% of the time
You only need 90 seconds of confidence to change your life
There are 3 layers of confidence you need to master to be confident everyday
Principle number 1: Become 90% confident, 90% of the time
Instead of trying to feel 100% confident, 100% of the time, aim for 90% confident, 90% of the time. Because the thing is, it’s unrealistic and, dare I say it, impossible to feel confident a hundred percent of the time.
We're human beings. We all have experiences that impact us. We face challenges, we have obstacles to overcome. We have things that knock us sideways.
When you aim for 100% confidence, 100% of the time, you’re striving for a goal that’s impossible to achieve.
And striving for a goal that's impossible to achieve actually does more harm than good, because you feel like you're failing. No matter how hard you try, you're never gonna reach the top of that mountain. And that feels really frustrating when you're putting your all into something and not getting there.
Which, in turn, impacts how confident you feel in yourself because you’re failing.
Instead, aim for 90% confidence, 90% of the time. This is a much more realistic goal because you're giving yourself space and allowing yourself time to not be confident at all.
You’re accepting that you're a human and that there'll be moments where you don't feel confident.
Let’s look at it in practice. Now this is just an example and not how your life should look: Let’s take 24 hours: minus 8 hours where you’re asleep, leaving you 16 hours available for feeling confident.
If you spend 14 of those hours feeling good about yourself, comfortable in your skin, taking brave action and talking to yourself in a positive way, you’re achieving 90% confidence. It doesn’t matter that for 2 hours of the day you’re stuck in self doubt, overwhelm or feeling low in confidence.
You’re still being confident every single day.
And the truth is, even if you manage just 5 minutes of confidence every day for the next month, you can still celebrate daily confidence.
Principle number 2: You only need 90 seconds of confidence to get what you want
The truth is, you don’t even need to feel confident for 90% of the day. Heck you don’t even need to feel confident for 9% of the day.
All you really need is 90 seconds of confidence to make a decision that’ll propel you forwards to the life you want.
A decision like asking for a pay rise, pitching a new client, saying no to something you don’t want to do, applying for a promotion, asking someone you fancy out on a date.
If you can think, act and feel confident in yourself for just 90 seconds, you can create a new opportunity for yourself and change the trajectory of your life.
Principle number 3: There are 3 Layers of confidence you need to master in order to become 90% confident, 90% of the time, aka create daily confidence that actually lasts.
Layer 1 is Think Confident.
This is about you changing your inner narrative and switching the stories you have on repeat in your mind.
What you think, you believe and what you believe becomes your reality. If you tell yourself you’ll never get a promotion, you won’t have the motivation or confidence to apply for the promotion. Your thought will become a self fulfilling prophecy because you won’t take the action necessary to get you what you want.
Instead, if you tell yourself you deserve to get a promotion, you’ll notice a shift in your self confidence which’ll encourage you to take the brave action you need to bring the opportunity of a promotion into your life. In this instance, applying for the promotion.
By changing your thoughts, you’ve developed new beliefs and those beliefs have encouraged you to act. The action will lead you closer to the end goal.
In The Confidence Course, I actually share 6 strategies to help you transform your mindset and change your inner narrative for good but for now, the best place to start, in my opinion, is with affirmations.
Affirmations helped me to completely transform my life. By simply telling myself “I can achieve anything I set my mind to” instead of “I can’t”, I was able to go from being too afraid to leave the house to quitting my 9 to 5, travelling the world solo and starting multiple online businesses.
The next time you notice yourself saying something negative, switch your thinking and start repeating “I can achieve anything I set my mind to”.
The second layer is Act Confident.
This layer is about the practical actions you can take to help you take action before you’re ready.
Because the truth is, you’ll never feel ready. Most people wait until they feel confident enough to do the scary thing like, ask for a promotion, start a business, get on the dating apps, travel solo, raise their prices - but confidence comes from taking action.
You can do mindset work for hours and hours every day but nothing will create long lasting, unwavering confidence like pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, taking a risk and doing something brave.
3 of my favourite instant confidence booster are:
Adjusting my posture. It literally takes seconds for you to roll your shoulders back, sit up straight and lift your head up. Do it now and notice how your energy instantly shifts as you take up more space.
Another thing I like to use for an instant confidence boost are what I call confidence anchors. This could be a bold lipstick, a perfume, a piece of jewellery. Anything I put on that helps me step into my most confident self. And again, this takes seconds to do.
And then there’s mirror work. Every time I pass a mirror, I make sure I look myself in the eyes and smile. When I have time to spare, I spend a few more moments looking deep in my eyes and repeating things like “I love you”, “I’m so proud of you”, “This is what a successful, confident woman looks like”.
It’s so easy for us to dish out the compliments to those we love - and strangers, in fact - but how often do you compliment yourself?
And no, you’re not being full of yourself or arrogant. You’re showing yourself the love you deserve.
The third layer is Feel Confident.
This layer is about consciously choosing to conjure up feelings of confidence on a daily basis.
Again, instead of waiting to feel the feelings of confidence when you’ve done something brave or when your inner narrative’s been cheering you on enough, this is about you choosing to create the feelings of confidence within your body now.
It’s also about you releasing any stagnant energy from your body and shifting into feeling positive, happy and confident.
Whilst there will be mornings you wake up with feelings of confidence flooding through your body, for the most part it takes practice from you to actively work to Feel Confident.
When you learn how to conjure up these feelings of confidence, you’ll be able to shift back into confidence throughout the day quickly and easily.
There are many exercises that can help with this. Practices like EFT tapping, hypnosis, meditation or breathwork are some of the ones I do regularly.
But my favourite exercise is visualisation. I simply spend 5 minutes each morning before I get out of bed, visualising confidence flooding my body. I picture it starting at my toes and steadily making its way towards the top of my head.
This means that by the time I get out of bed, I’m already feeling confident in myself and ready for a productive day.
Inside The Confidence Kit, my free resource for helping you become confident everyday, I’ve got a five minute morning meditation to help you bring feelings of confidence into your body.
A great way to work on each of these layers so you can create daily confidence that actually lasts, is by creating a morning routine.
These 3 layers don’t have to be worked on in any order. Typically, the Think Confident layer will be practices that you do daily for perhaps 10-15 minutes. Exercises like journaling, affirmations, Mindset Monologues and empowerment lists are also useful tools to help you create self awareness and change your inner narrative.
Act Confident exercises are things you can do multiple times a day in under 90 seconds. When you’re making a cup of tea, take a second to adjust your posture. When you’re washing your hands, smile at yourself in the mirror.
These practices won’t transform your life on their own, or particularly quickly, but they enhance the mindset and energetic work you do.
And for me, the Feel Confident practices are things I do less often but are often more intense. I typically do things like EFT, breathwork, yoga or hypnosis once or twice a week.
What’s important is that you consciously work on each of these layers. You’ll notice over time how you steadily begin to feel more confident in yourself on a daily basis. Each layer compliments the other and when you master all three, you’ll be 90% confident, 90% of the time.
Remember: These practices take time to build unwavering confidence. It’s not a case of journaling for a week, feel more confident and that’s it, the end. Even when you’re doing this work, there’ll still be days where you lack confidence and that’s ok. You’re a human being. You haven’t done anything wrong.
I’ve been working on myself in this way for over 12 years now and I still have moments of self doubt, moments where I criticise my body or days where I don’t feel confident. But in those moments, I don’t give up on my tools and say they don’t work. I’m compassionate with myself, remind myself I’m human and choose practices that’ll help take me into more confidence again.
We’re all a work in progress, not a work in perfection.
To recap what we covered:
The 90/90 Mindset Concept that’ll help you build daily confidence that lasts
Why you need to focus on becoming 90% confident, 90% of the time
You only need 90 seconds of confidence to change your life
The 3 layers of confidence you need to master to be confident everyday
If you’re looking for activities to add to your morning ritual, head over to this blog post where I share 7 confidence-boosting exercises that you can add to your morning routine.